It Starts With You

The Mental Prison

Sometimes we are held back by something we are not even aware of. A mental prison.

We grow up surrounded by other people’s values, beliefs, and ways of looking at life. We learn from our parents, the people around us, and later from school and work. Much of that becomes so familiar that we never really question it.

We learn how things are supposed to be. How we are supposed to fit in. What we are supposed to do. And often, we follow that path without knowing what other paths might exist.

The Path We Learned to Follow

Get an education. Find a good, secure job. That was the direction I learned.

There is nothing wrong with that. If you enjoy your work and the life you are building, then you should do what feels right for you. But I think there is a difference between choosing a path and following it because it is the only one you know.

The people around us may have followed the same path themselves. They passed on what they knew. They may never have been introduced to anything different either.

When I was at school, I did not learn how to make money work for me. I did not learn that from my parents either. I understood working for money. Exchanging my time for an income. But financial understanding beyond that was something I had to begin learning for myself.

The knowledge simply was not there in the environment I grew up in. And when we do not know that other possibilities exist, it is difficult to see them as choices.

What We Learn About Mistakes

I think the way we learn to look at mistakes can become part of this too. At school, getting an answer wrong was something negative. But in life, mistakes can be part of how we learn.

When I listen to people who have built something significant, I often hear them talk about how many things went wrong along the way. They made mistakes. They tried things that did not work.

That is a very different picture from the idea that getting something wrong means you have failed. If we carry that fear of being wrong with us, it can become another part of the mental prison.

Becoming Curious About Something Else

For me, the beginning is curiosity. Being willing to ask whether there might be something beyond the way we have always done things. If you are reading blogs like this, perhaps you have already started that journey.

We can read. We can listen. We can learn from people who have done something we would like to do. There is material about financial understanding, emotional intelligence, personal development, and leadership. There are books and podcasts that can introduce us to ideas we were never taught.

Those were not things I remember learning at school. I had to look for them myself.

Whose Development Are We Working Toward?

I have also thought about the education we receive through work. In the jobs I have had, I have not felt that the purpose was to help me build the life I wanted or understand how to create something of my own. The education was connected to what the company needed.

We may be sent on a course or given an opportunity to travel somewhere for training. That can feel good. We feel that someone is investing in us. But I think it is worth understanding why that investment is being made.

From my experience, the company expects it to benefit the business. That is how I have understood it. Others may have had different experiences.

But for me, it meant that I could not expect my workplace to take responsibility for all the things I needed to learn for my own future.

A Choice That Is Actually Yours

When we begin learning about other possibilities, something changes. We have more to base our decisions on.

We may still choose the work we already do. We may want the security of a regular job. We may decide to build something of our own or explore another direction. But now we know there are alternatives. That is what matters to me.

I am not saying that one way of living is right for everyone. If you enjoy what you do, keep doing it. But I want that decision to be made on my own terms, with an understanding of what else might be possible.

Because when we can see beyond the path we grew up with, we can begin making a choice that is truly our own.

Related reading: Becoming aware of the paths we have learned to follow can also change how we think about work, time, and freedom. Read: Who Really Controls My Time?

A Good Income Is Not the Same as Freedom

A person can earn a good income and still have very little control over their time. A person can own a business and still feel tied to customers, assignments, and the need to keep producing income.

That is something I have been thinking about. Because earning money and having freedom are not always the same thing.

When Income Depends on Your Time

When I was younger, I mostly saw two ways of earning money. You became employed or you became self-employed. If you wanted income, you worked. If you wanted more, you worked more, became better at what you did, or started your own business.

Later, I began to understand the difference between earning money from the time we sell and building something that can create income beyond the exact hours we personally work.

That changed how I looked at time.

As an employee, someone else usually decides many parts of your schedule. As a self-employed person, you may have more freedom in some areas. But customers, deadlines, and assignments can still decide much of your day.

There is nothing wrong with either path. But owning a business does not automatically mean owning more of your time.

What Do I Have a Choice About?

For me, the question has become less about income alone and more about options.

Do I have enough control over my time to live in a way that feels meaningful to me? What am I depending on? What would happen if that situation changed?

Time is not only something we use to work. It is time with family, time for health, time for learning, and time for the things we want to experience in life.

I may enjoy what I do and still want more choice around those things.

Building More Options

This does not mean leaving a job or changing everything immediately. An alternative can begin with learning a skill, developing better financial habits, or slowly building a project alongside what we already do.

The point is not that everyone should do the same thing. The point is to consider what might give us more choices in the future.

If I enjoy my job, I want to stay because I want to. If I run a business, I want to understand whether it is giving me the freedom I hoped for.

For me, a good income can be valuable. But I also want time to live the life I am working to build.

Related reading: Creating more options can begin with investing in your own knowledge and skills. Read: Your Best Investment

Does It Inspire You—or Make You Feel Behind?

Sometimes we see someone else’s home, holiday, business, or lifestyle and begin wondering why our own life does not look like that.

Their life appears happy and complete. Our own may feel ordinary by comparison.

But what are we actually comparing?

The Picture Is Not the Whole Life

Social media shows selected moments. We see the photographs and the parts someone chooses to share. We do not necessarily see what life looks like outside those moments.

When we compare our entire life with someone else’s best moments, we can begin feeling dissatisfied with our own situation based on a picture that was never complete.

I think that is something we need to remember when we look at other people’s lives. The image may show something real, but it does not show everything.

When Looking at Others Becomes Useful

At the same time, looking at someone who has achieved something we want is not necessarily a bad thing.

Perhaps they have built a business, developed a skill, or created the opportunity to travel more. Perhaps something about their life helps us see a possibility for our own.

That can become inspiration.

The difference is often in the feeling it creates and what we do afterward. Do I look at it and think, “Why do they have that and not me?” Or do I think, “If it is possible for them, perhaps I can begin moving towards it too?”

Those thoughts can take us in different directions.

What Does It Leave You With?

I do not think we need to stop looking at what others are doing. But I think it helps to notice how it affects us.

After spending time scrolling, do I feel inspired to take action? Have I seen something useful? Or do I mainly feel dissatisfied with my own life?

For me, material connected to personal development and growth can give me ideas, reminders, and new ways of thinking. That is very different from scrolling and finishing with a feeling that my own life is not enough.

We can be open to inspiration and still question the picture we are seeing.

If something encourages us to work toward our own dreams, it may be valuable. But if we keep comparing our whole life with a few selected moments from someone else’s, it is worth noticing what that comparison is doing to us.

Related reading: The things we repeatedly watch, read, and listen to can influence how we see our own lives. Read: Your Mental Diet Is Shaping Your Future