The Courage to Be Visible

ByRoland Thunstedt Updated on Personal Growth
Asian woman sitting at a seaside café with a laptop and camera, reflecting on video creation and the courage to be visible online.

The Courage to Be Visible

Building a website is one thing.

Putting your thoughts online is another.

But showing yourself — your face, your voice, your personality — on video is a completely different level of exposure.

When you see yourself on camera, it’s very easy to become your own harshest critic.

You notice everything.

How you speak.
How you look.
How you move.
Whether you sound confident enough.

I’ve experienced that myself while recording videos for Equipido.

You watch the video back and think:
“Could I have said that better?”
“Do I really look like that?”
“Should I record it again?”

But at some point, you have to accept something very simple.

This is who I am.

This is how I speak.

This is how I look.

And the biggest judge in the room is often not other people.

It’s ourselves.

Once you accept that everything doesn’t need to be perfect, something changes. You stop trying to control every small detail and start focusing on the message instead.

Some people will appreciate it.

Some people won’t.

That’s part of being visible.

But if you wait until everything feels perfect before you share something with the world, you will probably never share anything at all.

Related reading: Fear and doubt often appear when we choose to be visible and share who we are. Read: Fear and Doubt Are Part of Growth.

Want to understand how your emotional patterns shape the way you handle vulnerability, fear of judgment, and being seen? Learn more about the Emotional Style Test.

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    Your Vision Is Yours

    ByRoland Thunstedt

    Your Vision Is Yours

    Not everyone will understand your vision.

    Not everyone will support it. And not everyone who says they are interested will actually take the time to understand what you are trying to build.

    I have experienced this myself with Equipido.

    I have shown it to people who are interested in personal development. I have given them the opportunity to try it, explore it and even receive a detailed report without paying for it.

    Some said they were interested.

    But they never did it.

    At first, that can be frustrating. You start wondering why they cannot see what you see.

    But then I realised something important:

    It is my vision, not theirs.

    I cannot expect another person to feel the same excitement about something that I have spent months or years thinking about, building and believing in.

    Their lack of interest does not mean the idea is wrong.

    And their lack of action does not mean I should stop.

    They Do Not Need to See What You See

    When you have an idea, a goal or something you want to build, it is natural to want support from the people around you.

    But sometimes we put too much weight on their reaction.

    Someone may not understand why you want to change career, start a business or spend evenings and weekends working toward something that does not exist yet.

    That is okay.

    They are looking at your vision through their own experiences, priorities and beliefs.

    You are looking at it through yours.

    Your vision does not become less valuable because someone else cannot see it.

    Sometimes the Lesson Is the Result

    Around 15 or 20 years ago, I had an idea to build an online community for Christians — something similar to a social network.

    I believed in the idea even though very few people around me did.

    This was long before AI made it possible to build things the way we can today, so I had to pay people to help me develop it. I invested a significant amount of money in the project.

    It never became what I had imagined.

    But I do not look at that money as wasted.

    The project taught me something important about myself.

    I realised that I was very good at coming up with ideas and creating things, but at that time I was not equally good at driving them forward and turning them into something sustainable.

    That was an important lesson.

    People spend money on education all the time. In many ways, that project was part of my education.

    Sometimes the return on an idea is not the business you hoped to build. Sometimes it is what the experience teaches you about yourself.

    You Still Have to Try

    Believing in something does not guarantee that it will work.

    You may try and fail.

    You may discover that part of your idea was wrong. You may have to change direction, learn something new or start again.

    But that is very different from never trying because someone else did not believe in it.

    If you try and it does not work, learn from it.

    If something needs to change, change it.

    Then keep moving.

    Because even if you fail, you have still done something many people never do.

    You tried.

    Sometimes the first person who needs to believe in your vision is simply you.

    Related reading: When you build something you believe in, fear and doubt often come with it. Read: Fear and Doubt Are Part of Growth

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    Are You Reading Books—or Just Owning Them?

    ByRoland Thunstedt

    Are You Reading Books—or Just Owning Them?

    A book can be many things.

    It can be something beautiful to keep on a shelf. It can be something you collect, organize, and feel proud to own. Maybe you have 200 books, 300 books, or even more, standing neatly in your library with barely a mark on them.

    And there is nothing wrong with that. Some books are special. Some are signed. Some have personal meaning. Some are worth keeping clean and untouched.

    But when we talk about books on personal development, leadership, communication, habits, or growth, I think we need to ask a different question.

    Why did we buy the book in the first place?

    Was it to make the bookshelf look better, or was it because we wanted to learn something, change something, understand something, or become better in some area of life?

    In my opinion, a book is not just something to own. A book is a tool.

    Someone may have spent years, sometimes decades, building the knowledge, experience, stories, lessons, failures, and insights that ended up inside those pages. In some cases, a book may represent a large part of a person’s life work, compressed into 200 or 300 pages.

    When you open that book, you are not just reading words. You are getting access to someone’s experience. You are getting access to ideas that may have taken them years to understand. And you can receive those ideas in a matter of hours.

    That is powerful, but only if we use the book.

    I know many people are careful with their books. They do not want to write in them. They do not want to fold a page. They do not want to underline anything. Maybe they were taught growing up to be careful with books, and of course, there is value in taking care of things.

    But if the book is a tool for your growth, then I believe you should not be afraid to use it.

    Write in it. Underline important sentences. Fold a page if you need to. Put notes in the margin. Mark the parts that challenge you, inspire you, or make you stop and think.

    Be a little wild with it.

    Because the purpose of the book is not only to stay in perfect condition. The purpose of the book is to help you grow.

    Of course, there are exceptions. I have books that I do not write in. I have signed books from authors that are special to me, and I leave those untouched. But when I want to really study a book, I often have another copy that I use as a working tool.

    That is the difference for me. Some books are keepsakes. Other books are tools. And when a book is a tool, I want to use it fully.

    Today, I often use several versions of the same book. I may have the physical book. I may have the Kindle version. And sometimes I also listen to the audiobook.

    For example, Atomic Habits contains so many useful ideas that reading it once is not enough for me. I can read the book in 10 or 12 hours, but that does not mean I have absorbed everything James Clear has put into it.

    There is a big difference between finishing a book and truly learning from it.

    That is why I like using highlights, notes, and repetition. With Kindle, I can mark important sections, export my highlights, and then sit down later to study them more carefully. With an audiobook, I can listen while walking, driving, or preparing breakfast. With a physical book, I can mark the pages and write my own thoughts directly beside the author’s ideas.

    Each format gives me a different way to connect with the material. And that leads to another important point: a book is not only a reading tool. It can also be a reflection tool.

    When I read a good personal development or leadership book, I do not just want to ask, “What did the author say?” I also want to ask: How does this apply to my life? Where am I already doing this? Where am I not doing this? What should I change? What is one thing I can start applying today?

    That is where the real value begins.

    Because reading a book does not automatically change your life. Studying it might. Applying it might. Returning to it might. Teaching it to someone else might.

    Another powerful way to use a book is to study it together with other people.

    This can be done in a mastermind group, a study group, a team, or even with just one friend. Some time ago, a friend and I did exactly that. We chose a book, read one chapter each week, and then met for a one-hour video call to discuss it.

    The purpose was not just to talk about the chapter. The purpose was to ask what the ideas meant, how they applied to our lives, and how we could use them practically in everyday life and in business.

    That kind of discussion can make a book much more valuable. You hear another person’s perspective. You explain your own thoughts. You are forced to think more deeply about what you have read. And sometimes, that is when the book really starts to become useful.

    If you are building an organization, leading people, developing yourself, or helping someone else grow, books can become practical tools. A book like The Magic of Thinking Big, a John Maxwell book, or another leadership book can be something you read for yourself, but it can also be something you recommend or lend to someone who is just beginning their own journey.

    But if you are going to recommend a book, it helps to have studied it yourself. Not just read it once. Studied it.

    Because then you know why it matters. You know what parts are useful. You know what questions it raises. You know how it can help someone think differently.

    That is why I think the question “What is a book?” is more important than it first sounds.

    For some people, a book is decoration. For some people, it is entertainment. For some people, it is a collector’s item. For some people, it is a tool.

    None of those answers are automatically wrong. But I think we need to be honest with ourselves.

    When it comes to books about growth, leadership, habits, communication, or success, why are we buying them? Are we mainly buying them to own them, or are we buying them to use them?

    Because if the goal is growth, then the book needs to become more than something that sits on a shelf. It needs to become part of the process.

    Maybe that means writing in it. Maybe it means highlighting. Maybe it means listening to it more than once. Maybe it means exporting your notes and studying them. Maybe it means discussing it with someone else. Maybe it means taking one idea and applying it for the next week.

    The point is not that everyone has to use books the same way.

    The point is to consider whether every book needs to be treated as something fragile, especially when the real value is not in keeping the pages perfect.

    The real value is in what the book helps you understand, change, and apply.

    So maybe the next time you pick up a book, especially a book about personal growth or leadership, ask yourself: What is this book for?

    Is it something I want to keep perfect?

    Or is it something I want to use?

    For me, many of my books are tools.

    And a tool is meant to be used.

    Want to understand what helps you turn insight into action and follow through on the growth you want? Learn more about the Goal Style Test.

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  • | |

    Understand Yourself First

    ByRoland Thunstedt

    Understand Yourself First

    Personal development is often connected to books, habits, discipline, goals, leadership, and taking action. All of those things matter.

    But I believe there is one part that is easy to overlook.

    Understanding yourself.

    Because if we do not understand ourselves, it becomes much harder to understand why we act the way we do, why some habits work for us and others do not, why certain goals motivate us while others create resistance, and why communication with other people sometimes becomes more difficult than it needs to be.

    That is one of the reasons I believe self-awareness is such an important foundation for personal growth.

    We can read a good book. We can listen to great advice. We can set goals. We can decide to change. But if we do not understand ourselves, we may still try to build our life in a way that does not really fit how we are wired.

    This does not mean that personality should become an excuse. It does not mean we should say, “This is just who I am,” and avoid growth.

    It means the opposite.

    When we understand ourselves better, we can grow in a smarter way.

    For example, when we talk about habits, it is easy to think that the same method should work for everyone. Wake up earlier. Follow the same routine. Use the same system. Set the same kind of goals. Measure progress the same way.

    But people are different. Some people are motivated by structure. Some need more flexibility. Some are driven by results. Some need meaning and connection. Some people like detailed plans. Others feel trapped by too many details. Some people move quickly and adjust as they go. Others need time to think before taking action.

    None of this is right or wrong. It is simply different.

    That is why I think personality tests and personality tools can be valuable. Not because they define everything about us, but because they can give us language for things we may already feel but have not clearly understood.

    A good personality tool does not put a person in a box. It helps a person understand the box they may already have been living inside without noticing it.

    When we begin to understand our own personality style, we can start asking better questions.

    Why do I react this way? Why do I avoid certain things? Why do I get energy from some situations and lose energy in others? Why do I communicate well with some people but struggle with others? Why do certain goals inspire me, while other goals feel heavy even when they are important?

    These questions can create real value.

    Because personal growth is not only about pushing harder. Sometimes it is about understanding better.

    If a person sets a goal in a way that does not fit their personality, the goal may be good, but the approach may be wrong. Then they may become frustrated and think they lack discipline, motivation, or willpower.

    But maybe the real issue is not the goal. Maybe the real issue is the system around the goal.

    A person may need more structure. Another person may need more freedom. One person may need accountability. Another may need a clear personal reason. One person may need a detailed plan. Another may need a simple first step.

    The same goal can require different paths depending on the person.

    That is one of the reasons I believe self-awareness can make habits stronger. When we understand ourselves better, we can design habits that have a better chance of lasting.

    We can stop copying everything from someone else and start asking:

    What works for me? What kind of environment helps me? What usually stops me? What gives me energy? What makes me lose focus? What kind of support do I need?

    That is not weakness. That is wisdom.

    The same is true with communication.

    Many conflicts do not happen because people are bad people. They happen because people see things differently, process information differently, make decisions differently, and communicate differently.

    One person may speak directly and think they are being clear. Another person may experience that same directness as pressure.

    One person may need facts and details before making a decision. Another person may want the big picture first.

    One person may want fast action. Another may need time to reflect.

    One person may show care by solving problems. Another may show care by listening.

    When we do not understand these differences, it is easy to misunderstand each other. We may think someone is difficult, uninterested, too slow, too intense, too emotional, too cold, too detailed, or too careless.

    But sometimes they are simply different from us.

    When we understand personality styles, we can become better at meeting people where they are. That can help at work. It can help in leadership. It can help in business. It can help in friendships. It can help in family life. It can even help with children, because a child may not communicate, learn, or respond in the same way as the parent.

    If we only communicate from our own style, we may miss the other person. But if we learn to understand their style, we may find a better way to reach them.

    That does not mean we must change who we are. It means we become more aware of how our message is received.

    For me, that is one of the strongest reasons to learn more about personality. It helps us understand ourselves, but it also helps us understand others.

    And when we understand others better, we often judge less and communicate better.

    Of course, a personality test is not the whole truth about a person. No test can explain everything. People are complex. We have different experiences, values, habits, backgrounds, fears, strengths, and dreams.

    Most of us are also a combination of several styles. We are not only one thing.

    That is important to remember.

    A personality tool should be used as a guide, not as a label. It should open reflection, not close the conversation. It should help us grow, not limit who we can become.

    That is why I think the real value is not only in taking a test. The value comes from what we do with the insight afterward.

    Do we reflect on it? Do we recognize patterns? Do we use it to improve our habits? Do we use it to communicate better? Do we use it to set goals in a way that fits us better? Do we use it to understand other people with more patience?

    That is where the growth begins.

    I also think it can be useful to revisit self-awareness over time. We may not become a completely different person, but we do grow. We go through new experiences. We develop new skills. We become more mature in some areas. We may notice patterns that we did not see before.

    That is why self-awareness is not something we do once and then finish. It is something we return to.

    The more we learn about ourselves, the better equipped we become to build the life we want.

    If we want better habits, it helps to understand what kind of structure supports us. If we want better goals, it helps to understand what truly motivates us. If we want better communication, it helps to understand how we naturally express ourselves and how others may receive it. If we want better relationships, it helps to understand that not everyone thinks, feels, or responds the same way we do. If we want better leadership, it helps to understand both ourselves and the people we lead.

    This is why I believe understanding yourself is not a small thing.

    It is a foundation.

    Because when we understand ourselves, we can build better habits. We can make better decisions. We can communicate with more awareness. We can set goals in a way that fits us better. We can stop fighting parts of ourselves and start working with ourselves instead.

    And when we understand ourselves better, we also become more capable of understanding others.

    That may be one of the most valuable parts of personal growth. Not only becoming better for ourselves, but becoming easier to understand, easier to work with, and better at understanding the people around us.

    So before we only ask what habit we should build, what goal we should set, or what result we want to create, maybe we should also ask:

    Do I understand myself well enough to build this in the right way?

    Because sometimes the next step in growth is not only to do more. Sometimes the next step is to understand more.

    And that understanding can change how we build everything else.

    Want to understand how your natural personality shapes the way you build habits, set goals, communicate, and relate to others? Learn more about Core Color Personality Test.

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  • Fear and Doubt Are Part of Growth

    ByRoland Thunstedt

    Fear and Doubt Are Part of Growth

    When you build something and put it out into the world, you expose yourself.

    It doesn’t matter if it’s a business, a blog, a video, or simply sharing your thoughts publicly. The moment you make something visible, you also open yourself up to opinions, reactions, and judgment.

    And that can create doubt.

    I’ve experienced that many times while building Equipido. Even when you know you have something valuable to share — years of experience, education, and reflection behind it — there can still be that quiet voice asking:

    How will people react?
    What will they think?

    Those thoughts are natural. They are part of being human.

    But the deeper truth is that fear and doubt often come from something much older and deeper. Many times they are connected to acceptance — the desire to be understood, appreciated, or simply not rejected.

    The problem is that if fear and doubt begin to control our decisions, they can quietly hold us back.

    Whether we want to start a business, create something meaningful, or grow as individuals, there will always be uncertainty. Waiting until everything feels comfortable or safe usually means waiting forever.

    Growth almost always requires doing something that feels uncomfortable.

    And the reality is simple: if we only stay in situations that feel safe, predictable, and comfortable, we rarely move forward.

    Progress happens when we step into situations where we don’t have full control, where we might be judged, and where things might not turn out exactly as planned.

    That doesn’t mean fear disappears.

    It simply means we choose to move forward anyway.

    Related reading: Being visible often brings fear and doubt. Read: The Courage to Be Visible.

    Want to understand how your emotional patterns shape the way you respond to fear, doubt, and uncertainty as you grow? Learn more about the Emotional Style Test.

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  • The Hidden Danger of the Comfort Zone

    ByRoland Thunstedt

    The Hidden Danger of the Comfort Zone

    Comfort zones feel safe.

    They are familiar. Predictable. Controlled.

    But comfort zones can also quietly become one of the biggest obstacles to personal growth.

    When we stay in what feels comfortable, we rarely challenge ourselves. We repeat the same patterns, make the same decisions, and surround ourselves with the same environments.

    Nothing feels difficult — but nothing truly changes either.

    Growth almost always requires stepping into situations that feel unfamiliar or uncomfortable.

    That might mean speaking in front of people, sharing your ideas publicly, starting something new, or putting yourself in situations where you know others might disagree with you.

    Those moments can feel uncomfortable because they remove the protection of certainty.

    But discomfort is often a signal that something important is happening.

    It means we are stretching beyond our current limits.

    The comfort zone is not dangerous because it feels bad.

    It’s dangerous because it feels good enough to keep us there.

    And if we stay there too long, we slowly stop moving forward.

    Related reading: Fear and doubt often appear when we step outside our comfort zone. Read: Fear and Doubt Are Part of Growth

    Want to understand how your decision patterns influence whether you stay with what feels safe or move toward change? Learn more about the Decision Style Test.

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  • |

    Are Your Habits Changing Your Life?

    ByRoland Thunstedt

    Are Your Habits Changing Your Life?

    I’ve written before about discipline, but lately I’ve started thinking more about habits and how small daily actions can change your life.

    For many people, discipline sounds restrictive. It feels like forcing yourself to do things you don’t want to do. That’s why I’ve started thinking about it differently. Instead of focusing on discipline, I focus on habits.

    Two books have influenced my thinking more than most when it comes to habits and personal growth: Atomic Habits by James Clear and The Slight Edge by Jeff Olson. Although they approach the topic differently, they both point to the same truth: small actions, repeated consistently over time, can create remarkable results.

    For years, I searched for motivation. Whenever I felt stuck, I would set new goals, create new plans, and look for ways to become inspired again. The problem was that motivation always seemed temporary. It would work for a while, sometimes for a few weeks, sometimes for a few months, and then it would disappear.

    Eventually, I realized that motivation is a wonderful feeling, but a poor foundation. Habits are much stronger.

    Today, my focus is not on feeling motivated. My focus is on building habits that naturally lead to the next action.

    One of the most useful concepts I’ve learned from Atomic Habits is habit stacking. The idea is simple: one habit becomes the trigger for the next.

    My morning routine follows this principle. I wake up, take care of my morning routine, step on the scale, get dressed, drink a glass of water, put on my shoes, start an audio program, and head out for a walk.

    The walk isn’t really the goal. The goal is to follow the sequence. Each small action naturally leads to the next one.

    When I get home, I prepare breakfast while continuing to listen to the audio. After breakfast, I clear away the dishes, sit down, and begin reading.

    That reading habit has become one of the most valuable parts of my day.

    Every morning I spend approximately 90 minutes reading and studying. Right now, I am reading How to Win Friends and Influence People and reviewing highlights from The Magic of Thinking Big, The Slight Edge, and Atomic Habits.

    Ninety minutes may not sound like much, but over the course of a year, those ninety minutes become more than 547 hours.

    That’s almost fourteen full-time working weeks invested in learning and personal growth. It’s enough time to read and study somewhere between 35 and 55 books, depending on their length and complexity.

    Think about that for a moment.

    How do you think your life would change if you spent the next year studying 35 to 55 books on leadership, communication, habits, psychology, personal growth, or success?

    Do you think you would think differently? Do you think you would make different decisions? Do you think you would see opportunities that you currently overlook?

    I certainly believe you would.

    Another habit I’ve introduced is journaling my days. This is something I’ve read about in several personal development books, and John Maxwell also talks about the value of reflection. But for me, this is still a new habit.

    In the past, I often read books without stopping long enough to reflect, write things down, and apply what I was learning. Now I’m beginning to journal what I do, where my time goes, and what I actually learn from the material I study.

    One of the biggest surprises was discovering that I had more available time than I thought. Once I started tracking my days, I could clearly see what moved me forward and what didn’t.

    Many of us believe we don’t have enough time. Sometimes the real problem isn’t time. It’s that we don’t know where our time is going.

    This connects directly to one of the core ideas in The Slight Edge: small actions matter.

    The small things we do every day often seem insignificant in the moment. Reading ten pages. Listening to an audio. Going for a walk. Spending a few minutes learning something new.

    None of those actions seem life-changing. Yet over time, they compound.

    The same principle works in reverse. If we stop learning, stop growing, and stop investing in ourselves, the decline is usually so gradual that we barely notice it.

    That’s why I believe habits are far more important than motivation. Motivation comes and goes. Habits remain. And over time, those habits shape who we become.

    Many people spend years trying to change their circumstances while ignoring the daily actions that create those circumstances.

    Real change usually starts much smaller.

    It starts with a single habit.

    Then another.

    And another.

    The goal isn’t to become perfect overnight. The goal is simply to move forward, one small step at a time.

    In my next blog, I’ll explore something I’ve understood for many years, but have started approaching differently: books, learning, and the difference between simply reading a book and truly studying it.

    Related reading: Habits become easier to maintain when we understand what discipline really is. Read: Discipline Is Not What Most People Think.

    Want to understand what keeps you motivated and helps you follow through on the habits that move you forward? Learn more about the Goal Style Test.

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