The Mental Prison
Sometimes we are held back by something we are not even aware of. A mental prison.
We grow up surrounded by other people’s values, beliefs, and ways of looking at life. We learn from our parents, the people around us, and later from school and work. Much of that becomes so familiar that we never really question it.
We learn how things are supposed to be. How we are supposed to fit in. What we are supposed to do. And often, we follow that path without knowing what other paths might exist.
The Path We Learned to Follow
Get an education. Find a good, secure job. That was the direction I learned.
There is nothing wrong with that. If you enjoy your work and the life you are building, then you should do what feels right for you. But I think there is a difference between choosing a path and following it because it is the only one you know.
The people around us may have followed the same path themselves. They passed on what they knew. They may never have been introduced to anything different either.
When I was at school, I did not learn how to make money work for me. I did not learn that from my parents either. I understood working for money. Exchanging my time for an income. But financial understanding beyond that was something I had to begin learning for myself.
The knowledge simply was not there in the environment I grew up in. And when we do not know that other possibilities exist, it is difficult to see them as choices.
What We Learn About Mistakes
I think the way we learn to look at mistakes can become part of this too. At school, getting an answer wrong was something negative. But in life, mistakes can be part of how we learn.
When I listen to people who have built something significant, I often hear them talk about how many things went wrong along the way. They made mistakes. They tried things that did not work.
That is a very different picture from the idea that getting something wrong means you have failed. If we carry that fear of being wrong with us, it can become another part of the mental prison.
Becoming Curious About Something Else
For me, the beginning is curiosity. Being willing to ask whether there might be something beyond the way we have always done things. If you are reading blogs like this, perhaps you have already started that journey.
We can read. We can listen. We can learn from people who have done something we would like to do. There is material about financial understanding, emotional intelligence, personal development, and leadership. There are books and podcasts that can introduce us to ideas we were never taught.
Those were not things I remember learning at school. I had to look for them myself.
Whose Development Are We Working Toward?
I have also thought about the education we receive through work. In the jobs I have had, I have not felt that the purpose was to help me build the life I wanted or understand how to create something of my own. The education was connected to what the company needed.
We may be sent on a course or given an opportunity to travel somewhere for training. That can feel good. We feel that someone is investing in us. But I think it is worth understanding why that investment is being made.
From my experience, the company expects it to benefit the business. That is how I have understood it. Others may have had different experiences.
But for me, it meant that I could not expect my workplace to take responsibility for all the things I needed to learn for my own future.
A Choice That Is Actually Yours
When we begin learning about other possibilities, something changes. We have more to base our decisions on.
We may still choose the work we already do. We may want the security of a regular job. We may decide to build something of our own or explore another direction. But now we know there are alternatives. That is what matters to me.
I am not saying that one way of living is right for everyone. If you enjoy what you do, keep doing it. But I want that decision to be made on my own terms, with an understanding of what else might be possible.
Because when we can see beyond the path we grew up with, we can begin making a choice that is truly our own.
Related reading: Becoming aware of the paths we have learned to follow can also change how we think about work, time, and freedom. Read: Who Really Controls My Time?
