Are You Good at Something That Is Keeping You Still?

When You Lose Your Drive

There was a time in my life when I couldn’t wait to get out of bed in the morning.

I was excited about what I was building. I attended meetings, listened to several audio programs every day, read constantly, and invested countless hours in personal growth. More importantly, I loved helping other people pursue their goals and dreams. It didn’t feel like work. It felt meaningful.

Looking back, I realize how much energy and enthusiasm I had during that period of my life. Then something changed.

A series of experiences involving people I trusted deeply had a much greater impact on me than I realized at the time. To be clear, I take full responsibility for the decisions I made. The choices were mine. They always were. But the guidance, influence, and disappointment that followed left a mark that stayed with me for years.

What surprised me most wasn’t what happened. It was what happened afterward.

I lost my drive.

The passion that had fueled me for years seemed to disappear. Activities that had once inspired me suddenly created resistance. I didn’t want to listen to educational material. I didn’t want to attend meetings. Books that once excited me stayed closed on the shelf.

It wasn’t that I suddenly disliked personal development. It wasn’t that I hated the business environment. It wasn’t even that I had stopped believing in growth. The problem was that my mind had connected those experiences with pain.

For years, I tried to get that drive back. I read books about motivation. I studied goal setting. I learned about habits, mindset, success principles, and how the brain works. Sometimes I would find a new approach that seemed promising. It would work for a few months, and I would feel momentum building again.

Then it would fade. And I would find myself back at the starting line.

If you’ve ever experienced something similar, you know how frustrating that can be. Especially when you remember who you used to be. You know what you’re capable of. You know what it feels like to be driven. You know what it feels like to wake up excited about the future. Yet somehow, you can’t seem to get back there.

For a long time, I thought the answer was to find a bigger goal. Or a stronger purpose. Or more motivation. So I kept searching. I read more books. I listened to more advice. I tried different systems and approaches.

But eventually I began to question something.

What if I was asking the wrong question?

Instead of asking, “What is my purpose?” maybe I should have been asking, “Who do I want to become?” That shift changed everything.

Recently, while reflecting on this journey, I decided to revisit some of the books I had collected over the last twenty years. My bookshelves are filled with books on leadership, personal growth, success, motivation, communication, and psychology.

One of the books that stood out was Atomic Habits by James Clear. I had read it before. But this time, I looked at it differently.

What struck me wasn’t the discussion about habits. It was the focus on identity. The idea that lasting change doesn’t start with goals. It starts with the person you want to become.

That concept resonated with me far more than another goal-setting exercise ever could.

If someone wants financial freedom, perhaps the first question isn’t, “How do I become financially free?”

Maybe the better question is: “What kind of person creates financial freedom?”

How does that person think? How do they spend their time? What habits do they practice consistently? How do they respond when things don’t go according to plan?

The same can be asked about almost any goal in life. Before focusing on the outcome, perhaps we should focus on becoming the person capable of creating that outcome.

Will this approach work for everyone? Probably not. And that’s an important point.

We’re all different. We have different backgrounds, different personalities, different experiences, and different challenges. The tools that help one person move forward may not help another person at all. That’s okay.

The goal isn’t to find a solution that works for everyone. The goal is to find what works for you.

For me, this realization has been helpful because it shifted my attention away from constantly searching for motivation and toward building a stronger foundation. Instead of chasing a feeling, I’m trying to focus on becoming the kind of person I want to be.

The truth is that we all go through periods where we struggle. We lose confidence. We lose momentum. We question ourselves. We wonder if we’ll ever find our passion again.

But perhaps the answer isn’t always to look further ahead. Sometimes the answer is to look deeper. To ask different questions. To challenge old assumptions. And to remember that growth isn’t always about finding the perfect path.

Sometimes it’s simply about taking the next step and continuing to move forward.

If you’ve been struggling to find your drive, your purpose, or your motivation, I hope this reflection gives you something to think about. Not because it contains all the answers. But because it might help you ask a different question.

And sometimes, a different question is exactly where change begins.

Related reading: Losing your drive can bring doubt and uncertainty, but small daily actions can also help rebuild momentum. Read: Fear and Doubt Are Part of Growth and Are Your Habits Changing Your Life?

Want to understand what truly drives you and how to rebuild momentum when motivation fades? Learn more about the Goal Style Test.

Your Vision Is Yours

Not everyone will understand your vision.

Not everyone will support it. And not everyone who says they are interested will actually take the time to understand what you are trying to build.

I have experienced this myself with Equipido.

I have shown it to people who are interested in personal development. I have given them the opportunity to try it, explore it and even receive a detailed report without paying for it.

Some said they were interested.

But they never did it.

At first, that can be frustrating. You start wondering why they cannot see what you see.

But then I realised something important:

It is my vision, not theirs.

I cannot expect another person to feel the same excitement about something that I have spent months or years thinking about, building and believing in.

Their lack of interest does not mean the idea is wrong.

And their lack of action does not mean I should stop.

They Do Not Need to See What You See

When you have an idea, a goal or something you want to build, it is natural to want support from the people around you.

But sometimes we put too much weight on their reaction.

Someone may not understand why you want to change career, start a business or spend evenings and weekends working toward something that does not exist yet.

That is okay.

They are looking at your vision through their own experiences, priorities and beliefs.

You are looking at it through yours.

Your vision does not become less valuable because someone else cannot see it.

Sometimes the Lesson Is the Result

Around 15 or 20 years ago, I had an idea to build an online community for Christians — something similar to a social network.

I believed in the idea even though very few people around me did.

This was long before AI made it possible to build things the way we can today, so I had to pay people to help me develop it. I invested a significant amount of money in the project.

It never became what I had imagined.

But I do not look at that money as wasted.

The project taught me something important about myself.

I realised that I was very good at coming up with ideas and creating things, but at that time I was not equally good at driving them forward and turning them into something sustainable.

That was an important lesson.

People spend money on education all the time. In many ways, that project was part of my education.

Sometimes the return on an idea is not the business you hoped to build. Sometimes it is what the experience teaches you about yourself.

You Still Have to Try

Believing in something does not guarantee that it will work.

You may try and fail.

You may discover that part of your idea was wrong. You may have to change direction, learn something new or start again.

But that is very different from never trying because someone else did not believe in it.

If you try and it does not work, learn from it.

If something needs to change, change it.

Then keep moving.

Because even if you fail, you have still done something many people never do.

You tried.

Sometimes the first person who needs to believe in your vision is simply you.

Related reading: When you build something you believe in, fear and doubt often come with it. Read: Fear and Doubt Are Part of Growth

Who Really Controls My Time?

Not only time in the practical sense, like schedules, appointments, work hours, and daily routines. I mean time in a deeper sense. The time we actually feel we own. The time we can choose how to use. The time we have with our family, our health, our interests, our growth, and the things that matter to us.

At some point, I began asking myself a simple but uncomfortable question:

How much of my time do I really control?

That question is not meant as criticism toward any job, business, career, or lifestyle. There is no right or wrong answer that fits everyone. Some people love their work. Some people enjoy being employed. Some people enjoy running their own business. Some people want stability. Some people want more freedom. Some people want a combination of both.

But I think it is still a question worth asking.

Because many of us grow up inside systems that shape how we think about time, money, work, and security. Often, we do not question those systems because they feel normal. We go to school, we are encouraged to get an education, find a good job, work hard, pay our bills, take vacations when possible, and build a life around that structure.

There is nothing wrong with that.

But it may not be the only way to think.

When I was younger, I mostly saw two ways of earning money. Either you became employed, or you became self-employed. That was the world I understood. If you wanted income, you worked. If you wanted more income, you worked more, became better at what you did, or started your own business.

I started working early. I had different small jobs when I was young, delivered advertising and newspapers, and later worked in the kitchen and dish area on a passenger boat. I learned very early that money usually came from exchanging time for income.

Again, there is nothing wrong with that. It is how most of us begin. It is how most of society is structured.

But later in life, when I was introduced to personal development and new ways of thinking about money, time, and business, I began to see something I had not really understood before.

There is a difference between earning money from the time we sell and building something that can create income beyond the exact hours we personally work.

That idea changed how I looked at time.

As an employee, someone else usually decides many parts of the schedule. When to start. When to finish. When vacation is possible. What needs to be done. Where the work happens. How flexible the day can be.

As a self-employed person, there may be more freedom in some areas. But even then, time is often connected to customers, assignments, deadlines, projects, and the need to keep producing income. In many cases, it is still an exchange of time for money, just in another form.

That does not make it bad. It simply means that freedom and income are not always the same thing. A person can earn a good income and still have very little control over their time. A person can own a business and still feel trapped by the demands of that business. A person can have a stable job and still wonder what would happen if something changed outside their control.

That is one of the reasons I believe this topic matters.

Life can change quickly. A company can reorganize. A customer can disappear. A market can shift. A political decision can affect an industry. A health issue can change what is possible. An economy can move in a direction no one expected.

Sometimes things happen that affect our entire lifestyle, even if we did nothing wrong.

That is why I no longer think only in terms of income. I think more in terms of options.

Do I have options?

Do I have a buffer? Do I have more than one way to create income? Do I have skills that can help me adapt? Do I have something I am building for the future? Do I have enough control over my time to live in a way that feels meaningful to me?

Those questions are not always comfortable, but they can be useful.

For me, this is not about telling anyone to leave their job, stop running their business, or change everything immediately. That would be too simple, and life is rarely that simple.

For me, it is more about awareness.

Maybe the first step is not to change everything. Maybe the first step is simply to notice how life is structured.

How much of my week is truly chosen by me? How much is controlled by obligations? How much of my income depends on one source? How much of my time goes to things I say are important, but rarely prioritize? How much of my life is built by design, and how much is simply the result of habits, routines, and expectations I never questioned?

These are important questions because time is not just a practical resource. Time is life.

Time with family. Time with children. Time for health. Time for learning. Time for reflection. Time for meaningful work. Time for adventure. Time to become the person we want to become.

Many people say they want more freedom, but freedom is not only about money. Money can help, of course. But freedom is also about having choices. It is about not being completely dependent on one situation, one employer, one customer, one system, or one way of earning income.

That is why I believe building alternatives can be so valuable.

An alternative does not have to be dramatic. It can start small.

It may be learning a new skill. It may be reading and studying personal development. It may be building better financial habits. It may be saving a percentage of income. It may be investing in knowledge. It may be creating a small project on the side. It may be developing a business slowly over time. It may be building something today that creates more choices tomorrow.

The point is not that everyone should do the same thing.

The point is to begin thinking differently.

If I love what I do today, that is wonderful. But I still want it to be a choice, not a trap.

If I choose to stay in a job, I want that choice to come from clarity, not fear.

If I choose to run a business, I want to build it in a way that creates more freedom, not less.

If I choose to spend my time in a certain way, I want to know that it is aligned with the life I am trying to build.

That, to me, is the real question.

Not whether employment is good or bad. Not whether business is good or bad. Not whether one path is better than another.

The real question is: Am I building a life where I have options?

Because when we have options, we can make better choices. We can stay because we want to, not because we are trapped. We can work because it is meaningful, not only because we have no alternative. We can build slowly without panic. We can think longer term. We can make decisions from a place of strength instead of fear.

I think that is one of the reasons personal development has meant so much to me. It opened my mind to the idea that life does not have to be viewed only through the structure I grew up with. It helped me understand that habits, thinking, skills, leadership, communication, and financial awareness all play a role in creating more options.

And maybe that is where the real value begins.

Not in suddenly changing everything.

Not in judging anyone else’s choices.

But in asking better questions.

What kind of life am I building? Where does my time go? What am I depending on? What would happen if something changed? What could I start building now that might give me more choices later?

For me, this reflection comes back to one simple idea:

I want to own more of my time.

Not because I want to escape responsibility, but because I want to live with more intention. I want my time, work, income, habits, and growth to move in the direction of the life I actually want to build.

Maybe that is something worth thinking about.

Because if time is life, then learning to create more choice around our time may be one of the most important forms of growth.

Related reading: Creating more control over your time often starts with small daily habits. Read: Are Your Habits Changing Your Life?

Want to understand how your choices shape the way you use your time? Learn more about the Decision Style Test.